Do You Know?
by OneLastRefrain
Summary: (Conclusion Chapter Now Up!) When Nick end ups putting the one person he cares about in great peril, he finds out how love is blind. A angst twist for Nick about his troubled past. As told by 2 people. Plz R&R!!
1. AHauntingPastPart1

Title: Do You Know

Summary: Love is blind. A angst twist for Nick about his troubled past. As told by 2 people. Plz R&R!!

Pairings: This is a Nick and Sara shipper.

Rated: PG-13 for Adult Language and Adult Situations  

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the original CSI cast. CBS does.  I however do own the few others which have non major parts in this story. They will just support some of the tragedy and maybe cause it. 

Comments,questions,concerns: Oh I always wanted to ask that! Lol Please leave feedback. If not, no story. C'mon guys don't be cheap! You read, you review! Heh..ok any additional comments please send to snowflakeangel01@yahoo.com  Thanks and bunch and I hope you enjoy the story.

IMPORTANT: Nick's history is all created by me. Not all information is true to this fan fiction which is found on CSI's official site by CBS. 

Do you really know me? Yeah, you know my name. I'm sure you know it by now. But do you know the real Nick Stokes. Most people don't. I tend to keep myself in disguise I guess. I planned to keep it that way too before the last couple of days you see. Showing the true you to somebody is really scary for me. Not scary, it's terrifying. I wonder if I made a mistake by telling her. Showing her who I really am, sharing everything. I trust her. But now my past is out like a deer caught in headlights. There's no turning back now. I had to tell someone though what's going though my mind when I'm alone. When I have time to think. I am really starting to scare myself. Yeah, a few days ago I caught myself with my gun in my hand. I was as shocked as she was when she found out. I appear to be the most happiest guy, don't I? But you do not know..

            Man I feel low. As low as low can get. I whined and ranted to her about my damn life, again. I feel like a baby. She seemed to enjoy hearing from me though. Which truly and sincerely surprised me. Why would she want to hear about my problems when she has her own? Maybe she's concerned about her friends. I don't know. 

            What the hell is happening to me? This is all my damn parents fault. It was my fault they drank, and my fault they got killed. That's all there is too say. I killed them. No not physically but I built up to there death. Sure when I was young, I hated them. When I was twelve I use to want to kill them myself on how they treated me. The mental abuse that my mom pursued on me wasn't one to savor and my dad's physical abuse left scars on me today. There embedded in my heart along with cuts and scars along my back. My mother never stuck up for me. Always told me to defend myself. Yeah well that worked real great mom! All I did was nearly get myself banged up even more. My teachers always use to wonder as I entered class how I ended up with 'another' broken bone, or 'another' black eye. Of course I had to make up an excuse. He would have killed me with his bare hands if I told a sole. And after all, I did believe it was my fault. 

            I tried to be the best son my parents could have but somehow it wasn't good enough. I was told by my mother that I was a 'mistake.' I really wanted to prove them wrong but somehow the harder I tried to be good, the worse I got treated. That puzzled me. Maybe I was doing it all wrong? Maybe they wanted me to be a miserable like them. What am I saying? Of course they wanted me to be miserable. It made them feel better about themselves.

            I could never cry around them. The last time I cried was when I was three or so and that's when the physical abuse started, only it was just small slaps. As I got older it worsened. By 10 I was getting hard punches into my gut or when I wasn't ready, he got my eye. One time he broke my nose. When I went to the hospital in 5th grade, something told me the doc didn't believe my story on how I fell off a swing at school. I mean..who would? 

As I grew older I snuck out with my friends a lot. One night I got a hold of too much alcohol. I was 14, the 1st time I drank. When I got home that night, I thought I would never see the day again. My father couldn't get over that I drank because of him. That night was the worse night of my life.

The pain stopped when I left home to school when I was 19. Got into a good university and new I wanted to catch crime violators. I hated my parents for the next 5 years or so. My life was great. I met great people and had a great life until March 19, when I was 25. I got a call from back at home in Texas, my dad killed my mother. I still remember everything he said to me. Told me to pick him up, quit school, and leave everything for him. He was scared, he had beaten my mom to death on one of his rages over something stupid like work. I refused. That's when I heard it, the gun shot. I had lost both my parents in the same day. 

A small part of my felt sorrow but the other side felt glee. They were gone..my parents..the one's that hit me, and ruined my childhood. I felt so guilty that I felt happy but sorrow at the same time. Why should be sad? They are gone, yet they were my parents. What kid would be happy after hearing your parents were dead?

 I had no right. I had killed my father along with my mom close behind. I started to feel like I shouldn't be here, I don't deserve to live and be happy. But then again, what did I do wrong? 


	2. UnderstandingPart2

Glancing around my office I could feel someone's eyes staring at me as I pulled out of my daydream. Spinning around in my chair I found Sara watching me from the doorway. Oh its Sara..I sighed with relief. 

"Hey Nicky, you alright?" She said walking in and leaning on my desk beside me. I nodded in response looking up at her gazing at her cute yet worried grin. 

"Yeah I'm fine." I nodded. "Just thinking that's all." 

She nodded, "Oh." I could tell she knew what I was thinking about. She read me like a book. She reached for my hand and I allowed her, grinning at her touch. Her hands were so soft, so warm. Then I heard footsteps coming from down the hall and we both pulled away quickly, I replaced my hand on my desk, she put hers in her pocket.

Grissom peered in. "What are you two up to?" He said an eyebrow rose at Sara and Nick. It was unusual for him to see the two actually getting along. They got along a lot more then he thought alright. 

"Nothing, we were just going over a few notes from the Miller's case." Sara lied quickly covering the two up. "Yeah Nick, if you thought you have the play right, it's all wrong." She said sternly crossing her arms. There's the Sara we all knew. I was the only one who knew the other side of Sara and she was the only 1 who knew the other side of me. I glanced over at Grissom with a slight smirk on my face. Grissom looked satisfied and watched them for another brief second until her shrugged it off and headed back down the hall. We both looked at each other with amused looks but didn't say a word. I glared back at my computer and she picked up a file on my desk. She got right back to the case. Didn't say one more word about 'us.' The stuff she said went right though my head as I stared sleepily at the computer screen which was searching the database to match a few fingerprints. 

"Nick, are you listening?" Sara looked at me, her tone frustrated.

"Uh yeah, what did you say about the case?" I said looking up at her with a grin. Obviously she didn't think it was funny and replied with a deep sigh.  "I'm sorry Sara; I was just letting my mind wander. I'm dead tired." I apologized feeling guilty. She was trying to help me with the case after all. The least I could do was listen and fully comprehend what in the world she as talking about.

She gave me an its-alright smiles and repeated herself. I knew she cared, she knew how I was feeling, and the one thing I loved about her was that she was the one person who I could talk to and understood me. She's special to me. Whether there's just friendship between us or something more, I love her.  I knew she had many problems herself growing up. I respect that. I respect her. 


	3. ThatThingCalledLovePart3

Wow. These past few days have been tough. I'm juggling my emotions along with my job. I realize eventually there going to collide and I'm going to break down. Nick means a lot to me. The respect he gives to me and everything about him. He must be the only person that trusts me to tell me about his life. He thought I can help. Me? How? I'm just Sara. Maybe I'm special to him? I told him a lot about myself that I never told anyone before including my personal life and how I suck at any sort of relationship what so ever. He just laughed and said I was doing fine. I think that's a good thing..right? Well anyway it all started a few nights ago. I always knew there was something up with Nick. The man never fit the face. We both would still probably hate each other if we both didn't get totally wasted and make complete fools of ourselves. But hey, that was taking a chance. Life is full of risks right?  

We started talking and before e knew what happened, we revealed our lives to each other which really scared me. Wow I had no clue alcohol could affect you like that. It felt so good to tell him how I felt about my life and I know he felt the same way. I am really not sure what's going on between us now. I know I feel more then just friendship for Nick but it hurts so much when I realize that we can never be together because we work together. I don't see what the big deal is anyway. I feel like I feel and I think..I think..Im falling in love with Nick.


	4. ASuspeciousCallPart4

I seem to be getting myself into more trouble everyday. Whether it's on the job or gambling. My gambling addict is getting worse. I've been betting so much lately, I can hardly keep track of the people I gambled with. 

Sara continued to explain the play of the murder with me but I couldn't help my mind wandering. "Nick..what is that?" She asked glaring at me.

I looked up. "What?" Then I listened, a low tune played from my jacket pocket. "Oh its my cell." I said reaching in and pulling It out. "crap.." I muttered under my breath as a familiar number flashed. "Ill be right back." I said standing up and heading into the hall. Sara gave me a confused expression but shrugged it off, sitting down at my chair flipping though a few notes she took.

"Hello?" I answered lowly covering my mouth piece and holding the ear tone to my head. 

"Did you suddenly forget about me? You owe my 500. The dateline was a week ago. I want my money NOW." A cold voice scowled. 

I cursed to myself in my mind. Shit, how could I have forgotten about Chris. Chris O' Donald and I use to be buddies and partners, bet money all the time, until he transferred out from Las Vegas Crime Lab. Then he changed thinking he was better then everyone else. We had gotten together a few weekends ago, had a few drinks at the local sports bar on my day off. In was too drunk to realize that I bet $500 bucks over a damn football game. My luck I lost the deal. 

"Chris, listen, I don't have your money." I said quietly nearly in a whisper.

"A deal is a deal. If I don't have the cash by tomorrow-" He stopped.

"Are you threatening me?" I asked harshly. He continued a few seconds after that comment.

"-Ill take the one thing that means anything to you away. Trust me, you'll never see it, or should I say her?" He said cleverly with a light chuckle. I could tell her wasn't kidding. "Away." The phone went dead as I cursed again. Turning around to my office, Sara stood gazing out me from the chair. 

"Everything alright?" She asked concerned studying my expression. I looked away. 

"Yeah, just an old buddy." I lied not able to look her in the eye. If I did, she would know that was a lie, and it would hurt too much.

"Alright…" She said slowly standing up. "I'm heading home. You need me, call." She said and headed to the door. I watched her walk across the room. 

"Really Nick. Just call my cell." She continued stopping in the door way.

"Thanks Sara," I said and before I could say more she left.


	5. AfterNoonNewsPart5

What did I do wrong this time? I thought I gained his trust. Oh damnit I really thought I did! He lied to me. He looked away and lied to me. Why? I have no idea. I'm trying to help him but maybe be doesn't need my help anymore. He's driving me insane. I really want him to be ok. I want him to move on with his life. I want him to have the best. Right now, I guess I can't be in it.

The phone rang. I slit my eyes open and stretched my arm across my face to shield the blinding sun. "ugghh…go away." I whined. The phone didn't stop. I flipped over on my side and reached for the phone near my night stand. "Hello?" I moaned into the speaker.

"Sara?" A voice asked.

"Yes it's me, who the hell is this and what do you want?" I complained rolling back over on my back. The clock across the way read 3pm. Grrr…they should know this is my sleeping time. And for once I was sleeping!

"Grissom, Did I catch you at a bad time?" Gil asked.

"No..never better." I replied sitting us rubbing my head wearily. "I was just getting up."

"Sorry to wake you. We got a new murder near Mill Creek Road. A body was called in a ½ hour ago of a young girl found killed behind an abandoned alley. We need you and Nick there immediately. The day shift is preoccupied in their own little world." He sounded disgusted. Probably just got in an argument, that's Grissom.

"Alright." I replied getting up with a slight stretch. 

"Nick said he'll meet you there and he has the kits. Ill be there a little bit later. Good luck." He said and hung up. Sara did that same and tossed it on the bed as she got ready for a new day, hopefully a better one then the last.


	6. TheTrapPart6

I get out of the car and glare around the alley. It was getting dark now. Glancing at my watch it flashed 8:45pm in red letters. A few cops car are parked beside a black jaguar. "Well Sara's here." I muttered to myself getting the kits out of the back and headed down the alley approaching a few cops alongside Sara who glanced up.

"We got a white Caucasian female age approximately twenty, Apparent stabbing wounds to her chest and lower abdomen." She read of a page of notes she had taken for herself. That's like Sara, always prepared. 

"Alright. Any weapon found? Blood trace?" I asked and handed her, her kit. We started down the alley. 

"Nope, we got a bloody shoe print here though.." She said pointing out a print in the mud a few feet away from the body. "Looks like she was strangled as well as struck with a knife or rifel." She continued pointing out a red burn around the vic's neck.

I leaned down to my knees. "Did you see these?" I asked pointing out a few small fibers of straw or something like yarn in her hair. 

"Yes, there we also some around her shirt lining." Sara said. I nodded. 

"Let me go grab some extra flashlights," I said. The two we had hardly made any light.

Sara nodded. "Grab some luminal in the glove compartment; while you're at it, I'm out." She grinned. I headed back down the alley leaving Sara in the dark.

I didn't think much of it as I left her alone. 


	7. ANightMarePart7

I shivered. I hate alleys. Especially one's with dead bodies found in them. I thought as I glanced down at the horrified expression on the girls face. 'Damn where's Nick?' I thought standing up nervously. A heard something deeper down in the alley. Fiddling with my flashlight I shone it over the area. Nothing appeared to be there. I swear I heard a few footsteps until everything went black.


	8. TheKidnappingPart8

My head hurt, really bad. I slit my eyes open wondering where I was. I found myself sitting in the middle of someone's basement it appeared to be. All I could see was a dim light shone across the ceiling a few feet away. My hands. They were tied. SHIT. I started to panic. When I went to scream, nothing came out, just muffled cries. I was gagged.  

My eyes darted around nervously. Where was I? I kept asking myself as I wiggled around in a wooden chair. My legs were loose but I couldn't stand. I felt dizzy as a felt a small trickle of blood fall down my cheek from my forehead. Someone must have been in that alley waiting for me, just watching for his chance. I obviously took a good blow to the head. I must have been out for several hours since I began to see light creak into the tiny window to the outside ground. 

How can I get out? My hands are tied. What do I have with me? I asked looking down at myself. "Gun gone, cell in jacket, blade in shoe, hands tied." I recited in a whisper to myself trying not to completely panic even though I was scared to hell. 

This guy was bad. The rope was loose, my one hand fit though as I reached for the blade in my shoe nearly tipping the entire chair over. Eventually I sliced the rope and glanced at my wrists. They looked similar to the girls' neck, red burn. 

I breathed a sigh of relief and grabbed my cell. Dialing Nick's cell number franticly. 

"Sara?" I heard him ask. He sounded upset.

"Yeah, Nick, oh god." I murmured quietly standing up and walking to the corner of the room. 

"Where are you? Are you ok?" He said quickly.

"Yeah, I don't know. I'm in someone's basement." I continued as tears welled in my eyes. I was scared to die. I didn't want to die. Not now.

"Do you see a window? We need an idea of where you are" He continued. I could tell he had a lump in his throat. He was scared, for me.

"uhh.." I hesitated and went for the window quickly. "I see a red car in the driveway across the street, a fire hydrant, and the trimming of a blue house." She whispered.

"IS that all?" He said.

"Yes. God Nick.." I said heading back out of site of the basement door.

            "Sara, its ok, I'm going to find you. I think I know where you are. I have a lot to explain. God Sara I'm so sorry." He blurted out.

            I looked at the phone in disbelief. "What did you do?!" I said loudly. Just then I heard footsteps. 

            "Oh my god..Someone's coming." I hissed in a whisper.

            "Listen Sara. I'm coming ok? You hold on."

            "Nick…" I whispered.

            "What?"

            "If I live though this..I swear to god you better have a good explanation Ok don't hang up. Stay on your cell with me ok? Listen..hurry!." I hissed. Then the door opened and I put the phone in my pocket making sure I was still connected.


	9. TheCallPart9

The guy stood staring down at me. "How'd you get away?!" He scowled angrily and started down. I backed up gripping the blade in the center of my right hand.

            "Who are you?!" I yelled back up as she went to grab my fists however I ducked and started to race for the door.

            "COME BACK HERE!" He yelled as I nearly tripped down the stairs.

            "Damnit!" I cursed as he grabbed my arm swinging my around. Before I knew what happened I felt the muzzle of a gun digging into my temple. I froze.

            "I heard you on your cell phone sweetie, I'm not stupid." He said reaching into her jacket pocket. I could hear an angry Nick on the other line screaming into the phone.

            "What did I say?" He said into the phone.

            "Leave her the hell alone! You hurt her and I swear Ill kill you with my bare hands!" He screamed furiously as he drove out of the headquarters down the street. 

            "Oh Nicky Nicky Nicky, you'll never find her. I'm not stupid, wouldn't stay in my house, and I wouldn't go there if I were you. I lent that joint to my buds for the week. You mess with them, they won't be too happy." He continued pressing the gun deeper into my temple as I flinched.

            "Please Chris, leave her alone! Let her go! You tell me where you are, I have your money.." Nick said trying to calm down as he swerved down the street.

            I began to cry unwillingly. "Please…let me go.." I begged but all I got was the head of the gun dug deeper into my skull. 

            "You lie. You don't have squat." 

            "No. no.. I do. Please tell me where you are!" He begged.

            "I told you, I would take something, someone you cared the most for. The girl, Sara, Sara Sidle isn't it? The girl you love." He continued.

            "Please. Don't hurt her." Nick said trying to stay strong. One tear leaked out of his eye. He couldn't give up, couldn't cry, he had to find her, had to tell her how much he loved her.

            I continued to cry as he pushed me across the room into the wall. I slid down on to my knees with an angry expression on my face.  Tears stained my cheeks as I watched the guy and Nick. Love? I questioned.

            "Tell her how much you love her so then I can end it all, with just one little bullet." He said cruelly watching me. 

            "BASTARD!" I yelled at him.

            "Oh am I?" He said and shot the gun. I covered my face. It punctured a small hole to the left. Missed me by a few feet. He meant to miss.

            "SARA?!" Nick screamed into the phone. "Chris?!" He continued. "Don't do this!!"

            Chris clicked the phone off dropping it to the floor gently. "Oh boo hoo." He muttered as I managed to my feet. "Say goodbye Sara." He said aiming the gun at me. I heard him fire and then everything went blank, again. 


	10. ThisCan'tBeHappeningPart10

            I clicked my cell phone off and tossed it on the seat next to me. 'This cant be happening. Not to Sara.' My mind raced as I headed down the street where I knew my buddy lived. The cops were on their way along behind me. 'Please god let her be there.' I told myself. 'She's going to be ok.' I reassured myself only something told me not to be so sure. How could I have gotten her into this mess? It wasn't here fault. She didn't do anything. Yes, Chris was crazy. This isn't like him though. Sure he used to threaten if dues weren't paid but this time it went too far. 

            I headed down the street to Chris's house. Looking out the window there was a gray house with a blue car. 'It cant be here..' I said to myself. A few cops stopped the car and I got out shaking my head. "I don't know. She said there was a white house and red car.." I said gloomily. The checked the door, no one answer, they busted it down. A few minutes passed as I leaned on my car. They came out shaking there heads, my heart sank.

I got in my car and headed down the street. I was praying, praying for Sara to be alright. 

            As I turned down the street a few cops were already parked in a driveway. I parked my car quickly and raced out. 'Please god let her be ok' White house across the street, red car.  A young blonde girl stood in the doorway peering in. I glanced at her terrified. "What happened?"

"I heard a gunshot going off, I called 911." The girl responded with a scared expression. I nodded to her and rushed in standing on the top of the steps near the basement. The two cops looked at me with sad expressions. I knew what that meant. I walked down the creaky stairs slowly. An icy chill soared down my spine as I saw Sara, leaning against the wall with two cops hutched over her. 


	11. PainPart11

I felt pain surge though my body as I came to consciousness. I didn't dare try to move. I knew what was happening. I was shot. Please god, don't let me die. I can't. Not now.  I heard voices, all around me. I couldn't understand what was going on. The voices were all in blurred sound waves as I tried to open my eyes. I felt someone touch my cheek. I flinched. 

            "Sara, oh god Sara. Do you hear me?" I heard a familiar voice cry along with distant sirens in the background. I knew that voice. All too well. I managed to slit my eyes open to see Nick hutched over me, tears filled his eyes. A few leaked down on to his cheek, this was the first time I ever saw him cry. 

            "Nick.." I managed to whimper. Trying to move my head to look around, I couldn't, it was too painful. I let it rest on the hard wall.

            "Sara, I'm so sorry!" He continued to cry caressing my cheek comfortingly.

            I moaned in pain wanting to hutch over. As I went to touch my side he stopped me. 

            "Don't move. An ambulance should be here any minute.." He told me. The sirens got louder. 

            "Oh god.." I grimaced in pain. I felt like a million knives were doubled into my side right below my rib. Then it hit me. "Am I going to die?" I managed to whisper to Nick. Tears were spilling down his cheeks. 

            "No! Don't say that! Your going to be fine.." He cried as the door busted open and a few paramedics rushed in pushing Nick aside in back. He watched me protecting. My eyes closed and the pain rushed away.


	12. Confusionpart12

I ran though the hospital doors and to the desk where a lady glanced up at me quickly. "Sara- Sara Sidle." I said shakily. A felt like I had a lump in my throat, it was never going to end, this nightmare. Please god let her be alright! 

            "She's in the ER right now. Please take a seat." The lady said to be calmly and looked back to the computer.

            "I need to know, is she alright?" I asked quickly. 

            The lady glanced back up at me again annoyed. "I can not release that information. We have no word of what is going on right now. I will let you know as soon as I find out." She scowled.

            I walked away rubbing my head nervously. How would I bear without her? This was my fault. She shouldn't be here, I should have been the one to get shot..not her. She didn't deserve this. My mind continued to wander as I paced along the hall. Finally sitting down I put my head in my hands and heard a familiar voice.

            "Nick! Oh my god! Where is she? What happened?" Catherine asked franticly as she rushed in beside Grissom who held a blank expression on his face.

            Looking up I wiped my eyes but the tears were still there. Along with the dank stains that were burned upon my cheeks. Catherine gazed down at me.

            "Nick..she is ok? Isn't she.." Catherine whispered. I didn't reply not knowing what to say. I couldn't reply. I was solemn. She sat down beside me watching me carefully. Grissom sat down on my other side.

            "What happened, Nick?" Grissom asked staring down at me, his eyes burning into my flesh. I didn't respond.

            "Nick tell us what happened?!" Catherine cried a few tears welled in the corner of her eyes. 

I stood up and walked away not acknowledging them. I couldn't. Everything was a blur. What was wrong with me? This cant be happening. Please god let Sara be alright.

 I couldn't tell them what happened. I couldn't. Something wouldn't let me. I won't let myself give up. Not now..Not ever. I headed down the hall sinking my hands deep into my jean pockets my head down. I heard someone following me.

"God dam nit Nick, is Sara OK!?" She cried a few tears falling down her cheeks. I spun around angrily.

"NO CATHERINE!! SHE'S NOT!" I yelled my face, red with anger. Tears continued to fall. Why wouldn't they stop? Grissom watched as Catherine fell back shocked. I never screamed at her. I never told her something so harsh. It felt good to.

Turning back around away from them I made my way down the hall not sure where I was going. I couldn't comprehend anything that was going on. The only thing I understood was that Sara was hurt, it didn't look good.

Reading a few labels over the door I stopped a second as my eyes scanned over the word, "Chapel" Nodding to myself I walked in, immediately, being carried away by the aroma of candles. 


	13. DisbeliefPart13

I sat down in a small pew and leaned my arms on the seat in front of me, my head now in hands. How could I let this happen? I continued to ask as I wiped a few tears away. An older lady sat a few pews away deep in prayer, her head down. A small boy, maybe around 5 sat beside her with a confused expression. He stared at me from the distance. I glanced up to the boy for a second. He didn't look away. I didn't say anything. Somehow I felt like her knew how I felt. My mind skipped from the boy back to Sara.

Leaning back I stared forward trying to concentrate on a prayer even though I had no religion. I didn't belong. After a few minutes of staring into space I heard a door shut quietly behind me, but not quiet enough.

Catherine walked in silently. I didn't move or look away from the statue of the lord in front of me. She sat beside me and looked straight ahead, leaning back slowly. After a few minutes I glanced at her quickly. By her expression, I knew she saw how hurt I was. This was the one time I couldn't hide it. Not when Sara's life was at hand. 

"I'm sorry, Nick." She murmured softly. 

"So am I." I replied looking back to the statue. A few seconds went by, only they felt like hours. Long heavy hours.

"You must" she paused, "have really cared about her," Catherine stated.

"I DO care about her." I said with an annoyed tone. Why was she talking as if she was dead? She wasn't, she was going to be fine.

Catherine looked at me with tears in her eyes. "Nick," She gulped holding back a tear or so. "Sara, she's in a coma." Catherine whispered slowly. I didn't want to hear her. "The gun was angled when it was shot. One bullet hit below her ribs.." She paused. "The other missed her heart by a slight centimeter." A few tears fell out of her glossy eyes. "It hit an artery, Nick."

I looked at her in misbelieve. "No." I shook my head knowing where Catherine was going. "She's going to be fine."

Catherine watched me as tears began to fall on to her place cheeks.

"No..no..no." I murmured as my eyes let go of the tears. They sailed down my cheek as I looked away from Catherine.

"I'm sorry Nick." She whimpered and went to touch my shoulder. I pulled away from her touch standing up. I grabbed my jacket and rushed out. I couldn't take it anymore. Catherine didn't follow me. I had to get out of there. I had to leave.


	14. RevengePart14

Slamming my door to my apartment I tossed my bag on the side not caring where it hit. I walked over to the kitchen counter and leaned over it, not sure what to do. There was nothing to do. It's not like I could concentrate on the case. I titled my head looking over to the phone. Nothing blinked..no-one called. 

Walking into my living room I glanced around switching the TV on with the remote controller. I dropped my keys on the counter stopping at a picture I had taken last year of Sara and me at the Christmas Party. Picking it up I looked down at the smiling Sara. A few tears struck my eyes but I blinked them away. 

A million voices filled my head and then it hit me. What if Sara did make it? Pulling my eyes away from the picture I felt a rage of anger. I placed the picture face down and walked over to the couch.

Plopping down on it I glanced at the TV. Julie Chen was there to greet me with the news. More crappy events that happened today, how wonderful. I switched the TV off and leaned back putting my arm around my neck, with a gulp. I felt sick. Really sick. Like something was stuck in my throat. A pit in my stomach turned as I recalled the events of that day. 

"I'm going to catch that son of a bitch." I murmured to myself. He may have gotten away the first time, but not again. I'm going to kill him for doing this to her. I'm going to kill him so painfully he will wish he wasn't born. I'll get him.


	15. BrightNewsPart15

Sorry this chapter is so extremely short. I wanted to separate this from the others. Trust me, it makes more sense. This entire story is already written out. I'll be adding different parts everyday. Thanks to everyone for the reviews and please keep it coming.

I awoke suddenly to the sound of my phone. I slit open my eyes as it ringed the 3rd time. Realizing I had passed out on my couch, I sat up quickly and raced to the phone nearly tripping over my bag on the way. 

Grabbing the phone on the kitchen wall I quickly said, "Hello?"

"..Nick?" A voice asked into the phone. I heard sobbing in the background. It was Grissom.

"It's Sara." He said. My heart sank as I rubbed my forehead trying to comprehend what this meant. The events of the day soared back into my mind. I knew exactly what had happened, she was dead. 

"Nick?" Grissom asked again when I didn't reply. "Nick, Sara's conscious." 

"She's..she's ok?" I managed to choke out. 

"Yes." He replied.

"I'll be right there." I said hanging up quickly. Grabbing my jacket I rushed out to my car. 'Everything's going to be alright.' I told myself as I headed to my black truck. But something told me, this wasn't over.


	16. ConfusionandMorePainPart16

What was going on? I asked myself as I heard blurred voices in the background. My head throbbed badly and I thought the pain was strong enough to kill me. It never stopped. It was too painful to open my eyes. My mind turned confused and puzzled as I tried to recall what had happened. All I could remember was an alley and a basement. 

Someone was sobbing in the background as a screechy voice, probably a nurse, echoed though my ears. I flinched in pain. Everything hurt. The blood in my veins felt like it was boiling over as I tried to slit my eyes open. A few blurred people were talking at the end of my bed. No-one realized I was awake. I went to say something yet nothing came out. My vision was horrible, it was dull blurry colors. It didn't seem right. A minute or so later it started to clear, slowly. I could then make out one of the figures in front of me.

"Gris.." I managed to say from the back of my throat. I felt defeated. I hated that feeling.

Grissom and the nurse turned quickly to me. Catherine was behind him, her makeup now in a smear down her pale cheeks. Grissom's eyes too looked glossy unless it was my eyes.

"What.." I croaked and flinched in pain. My chest hurt, badly along with my side. I couldn't lift my head off the pillow to see what had happened to me.

"Sara, don't talk. Just rest." He directed sternly observing me. I didn't listen; I could care less what he told me to do now.

"Nick?" I whimpered quietly finding it was not as painful. Every breath I took triggered a stabbing pain though my body. 

"He's on his way." Grissom responded quickly. Catherine stared at me as If I was from another planet. I looked at Grissom and then to her full of confusion. Ready to ask what had happened I stopped as pain flood over me once again. I closed my eyes shut trying to make it stop. 

The nurse watched me then looked to Grissom. "I'll get the doctor. She may need another dose of morphine." 

Grissom nodded and looked to Catherine, then to me. "We will let you rest." He said and headed out hinting to Catherine to follow. She did reluctantly glancing at me once more almost in piety. I felt like I was in jail. Closing my eyes I waited until I heard the door open. Remaining still, my eyes closed, I appeared asleep. A few minutes later, the pain began to soothe away slowly, dragging out of my body. I took a deep breath, enjoying the air without pain and rested praying for Nick to arrive soon.


	17. Love Part17

It seemed like hours passed until I felt the warmth of someone's hand along mine, even though it had only been a few minutes. The pain was wearing off from the morphine which allowed me to breathe properly. Slitting my eyes open, Nick sat alongside my hospital bed, both hands cupped mine.

His head was down in remorse and I could tell he had been crying by the salty streaks down his cheeks. "Nick." I whispered softly trying to avoid as much pain as possible.

He looked up quickly, he forced a half grin. "Hey Sara, how are you feeling?" 

I observed his expression noticing the tears he was fighting back. He caught on to me and attempted to blink them away, only a few leaked out. "Could be better." I flicked a smirk.

He let the tears fall. "God, Sara, I'm so sorry." He choked out in a gulp.

I watched him silently for a few seconds. "What happened?" I asked curiously not fully understanding what had happened.

"Let me handle this, as soon as you get out, I'm going to find the bastard who did this to you." He continued a spark of anger arose.

"What?" I managed to say confused.

"Listen, Sara, a while ago I had a deal with an old friend. I never paid him the debt. He wanted revenge." He explained choppily, his mind wandering. He looked away around the room and then back to me. "I am so sorry." He tightened his grip on my hand.

"So he went after me?" I asked curiously. I couldn't seem to process what was going on.

Nick nodded slowly. "He knew how much I cared about you. He knew if he," He paused, "Hurt you, I would break down. That's what he wanted." He stared at me, waiting for a response; I looked away trying to comprehend what he was telling me. Then I remembered what the guy had said, _'I told you, I would take something, someone you cared the most for. The girl, Sara, Sara Sidle isn't it? The girl you love.' _ 

Looking back to him I could see the grief in his eyes.  "Do you love me?" I asked out of the blue. I needed to know the answer, remembering the comment. I studied his eyes, for a second he looked stunned, like he was punched in the stomach, but the next he grinned and nodded. "Yes, Sara, I do love you." 

I felt a tear of joy roll down my cheek. He leaned over me and kissed my forehead. "I have a lot more to tell you. For now, I want you to rest, ok? Don't worry about anything; I'm going to take care of it all." He said reassuringly. "Now don't cry," He smiled wiping away a tear with the back of his hand, the other still holding my hand. 

"Stay. Please." I said quietly. 

He nodded sitting back down. "I won't leave." 

With his word I closed my eyes and drifted to a deep sleep. I felt so peaceful, so serene; the pain had stopped, for now.

*~*~*

As I watched her drift to sleep, I smiled to myself. I couldn't believe I finally revealed that I loved her. She didn't seem upset; hopefully it's a good thing. I sat back still holding her hand gently in mine as I watched her chest rise and fall. A small grin lingered on her face and I knew she was happy. Warrick and Grissom stood in the doorway. Grissom made a small, 'come on' gesture with his hand. I still had a new case to work on. Sighing deeply, I leaned over Sara, "Ill be back later, I promise." I whispered in her ear. Her eyes opened slowly and she nodded an ok. I placed her hand on her stomach as I headed to the door reluctantly. 

Warrick fell in next to me as I continued down the hall. "Hey man, how is she?"

"She's going to be ok." I said glancing at Warrick. 

"Good, we are going to need someone with brains around the lab soon." Warrick cackled.

"Haha." Nick smiled amused and shed a small chuckle as they existed the hospital and followed out to the scene.


	18. 5 Weeks Later Part18

*5 Weeks Later*

Walking into the Las Vegas Crime Lab, it had been over five weeks since I walked these halls. It felt like yesterday I just walked in for the first time. Checking my watch, it was past 4pm. Where was everyone? Nick had told me to come in early so I could catch up. Where was he?

I looked into each office, no-one, turning into Grissom's, no-one sat at the desk arguing with a judge for a warrant. I knew something was wrong. Pushing my way though the break room door, the lights were off, it was pitch black. I nearly tripped over something as the lights flicked on quickly and everyone roared with laughter. I stood there stunned glancing around the break room; a banner was stretched across the fore-wall which read, 'Welcome Back Sara!' 

"Welcome back!" Nick said throwing his arms around me. I looked around in sudden awe, my jaw dropped.

"Oh my god!" I laughed as everyone smiled at me. Grissom and Catherine stood with Warrick and Greg waiting for there opportunity to greet me. A few other office workers stood in the back observing the chaos. 

"Nick, oww, I can't breathe." I winced with a grin as he let me out of his grip.

"Sorry, I'm just so happy your back." He smiled. I smiled back. Then Catherine had to break the moment as I felt her arms go around me in a gentle hug. 

"Oh Sara, how are you? Feeling better?" She asked.

"Much." I said looking at her, noticing a few tears in her eyes. Warrick pushed her out of the way. 

"Welcome back to hell!" he joked around as he embraced me in a big bear hug. I laughed.

"Thanks." I continued to smile as if it was glued on my face. It did feel great to be back to normal again.

Grissom a welcoming speech to me and started about my new case as Greg budged him out of the way. "She doesn't need a lecture! Give her a break." He laughed defending me and giving me a hug. "We're glad your back Sara." 

"Thanks Greg." I replied with a nod. Everything felt perfect. I didn't think anything could go wrong.


	19. FairyTales Part19

After the party, I sat back in my office looking over a few files of case reports I had missed. Apparently Nick had worked on them for me. Nicky's a gem.

A soft knock came from my door as I swung around. Nick smiled, "Can I come in?"

"No." I smiled with an amused expression.

"Oh ha-ha." He smirked and walked in sitting across from me. I studied his eyes for a second. He had something on his mind.

"What's wrong?" I asked quickly my expression turned into a concerned frown.

"What? Nothing." He replied.

"You have that look." I said with a grin.

"What look?" He continued innocently.

"That, we are in major trouble look, or that, I have a really big favor to ask you look." I laughed. He shook his head staring at me unaware. 

"What?" I continued to laugh. 

"Nothing." 

"Nick!" I continued knowing something was on his mind. "Tell me!" I demanded standing up. He stood as well continuing the innocent; I didn't do anything, look. I walked over beside him. "Nick, don't make me do it." I smirked. 

He crossed his arms, "Do what?" 

My expression changed to an upset one, almost hurt looking as I stared at him. "Please.." I murmured biting my lip. He's grin stayed strong.

Turning around away from him, I felt his arms wrap around my waist as he brought me against his body. I could feel his heart quicken against my back, he was tense and nervous. Tilting my head and turned it to face him. He watched me wondering if I was going to pull away. When I didn't our faces became close together slowly. After a minute or so, our lips were nearly a milliliter away as I parted them waiting, waiting. His warm breath surrounded me comfortingly. I stopped and let him make the last move. 

Closing my eyes and savoring the moment, I realized I had been waiting for this to happen since day one. His soft lips kissed me gently as I followed his lead slowly. I turned around slowly as the kiss in tensed allowing both of us to be more comfortable during the moment of a lifetime. Wrapping my arms around his back, the kiss continued for a minute or so leaving us both gasping for air. 

When we both pulled away for a breath he stared at me watching my reaction. When I grinned he leaned in for another kiss, taking his hands to my cheeks, only this time it became passionate within seconds, unlike the other kiss, this one was hard as our need desired. I shuddered as his tongue entered my mouth caressing mine softly. I led him towards the wall, feeling it hit my back, my hands lingered up his neck, leaving soft trails. This is the moment I always dreamed up, it was happening.

*~*~*~*

As I continued kissing her my mind raced on how much I loved this girl. I always dreamed of kissing these lips and always fantasized seeing her smile at my touch. We both knew well enough we were much more then friends. I felt like I was in a fairy tale as I moved my hands though her hair. I could feel her shiver with pleasure. After another minute or so I pulled away. She looked up at me confused and I noticed a tear stain down her cheek. I wiped my hand across her cheek and whispered, "Do you believe in fairy tales?" in her ear. She smiled and let out a soft giggle. I smiled seeing her smile. "You're my princess," Kissing her lips softly again. When she pulled away, she ran her hands along my shoulders.

"And you're my prince."


	20. A New Begining Conclusion Part20

"Am I interrupting something?" I heard a voice in back of me. Spinning around, I let go of Sara to face Warrick watching us in the doorway. 

"Depends how much you saw." Nick said cleverly raising an eyebrow staying cool.

"Yeah, sure," Warrick paused looking for me to Sara's flushed face. "Well anyway Gris said we have today off.  Our John Doe is on vacation in the autopsy room." Warrick explained. "See you guys tonight." He waved and disappeared out the door. I turned back to Sara with a grin.

"Breakfast?" 

"Are you asking me out, Nicky?" She smiled flirtatiously running her hands along my chest.

"And what if I was?" I continued, playing along setting my hands along her hips.

"I'd say, lets go." She smiled. I tossed her jacket to her and slipped mine on heading out with her close behind. As we headed down the hall, I grinned to myself. I knew I had to tell her the entire story, what happened and all, and hopefully she would agree with my plan to get revenge. If not, I'd be doing it alone.

"So.." I said softly to Nick as I sat upon his apartment couch with him beside me. "What did you want to tell me?" I asked curiously watching him, observing his facial expression, god he had nice eyes. 

"The guy," Nick said and gulped. "Chris O'Donald."

My smile turned to a frown.  "Nicky, it's all over now. You know the police have been searching for him, he's gone." I tried to grin but failed. I knew how he felt. "It's not your fault this happened to me."

"Yes it is, Sara. If I never placed that damn bet with him, this would have never happened!" Nick replied.

"Its no-ones fault." I corrected him sternly.

"I can't bear the fact that I could have lost you." He replied staring at me. I bit my lip noticing a few tears in his eyes. 

"You didn't, I'm here. Everything worked out fine." I said taking his hand in mine. After a few moments of silence he spoke.

"I have to do this. I know where he is." 

"Do what?" I asked, pretty sure where this was going. He wanted to kill him.

"Either you're going to help, or I'll do it on my own." Nick replied.

My eyes widened. "Are you crazy? You can't do this! If you kill him, you'll be charged with murder!" I yelled angrily but most all, shocked.

"I tracked his call he made to me a while back. He's staying at a hotel casino south of here. The Black Bird's Window, please Sara. You have to understand." Nick explained pleading to me.

I stared at him in complete shock, tears built up in my eyes. I couldn't believe he was going to risk his life for this damn guy.

"I have to. I can't live like this, knowing that this was my fault." He paused placing the palm of his hand on my cheek. I shivered at the warmth. "I love you, Sara." He replied as a few tears spilled down my cheeks. With that he stood up grabbing his jacket off the end. I stood up after him. 

"Please, don't do this!" I cried rubbing my cheeks. 

"Listen, it's all going to be ok." He said embracing me in a hug. I cried on his shoulder.

"Not if you kill him." I whispered. He kissed my cheek and pulled back looking at me for a minute, and then turning to the door.

"Nick! Please god! Don't you walk out that door! Don't you dare!" I yelled at him.

He didn't look at me; he didn't want to see the fear in my eyes, the sorrow, and the hurt. He walked out closing the door behind him. I fell back on his couch not sure on what I should do. Holding my head in my hands I thought for a few minutes. Getting up I nodded with my decision and headed to the phone.

I headed down the dark hall of the Black Bird's hotel. My gun was nestled in my belt as I checked the door numbers, stopping when I arrived at Room 181. I took a deep breath, my heart beating hard against my chest, I was scared. I knew this had to be done. Knocking softly on the door, my thoughts raced, over work, and over Sara. I could hear foot steps scrambling over the tiled floor and then it opened.

"I have your money." I said looking Chris in the eye keeping a sincere expression. He looked me up and down.

"You're crazy to come here. Your smart, you knew I would get her again if you didn't pay up didn't ya?" He chuckled hauntingly. "Come in." He said allowing me in. I walked in slowly with my head down, He checked the hallway to see if anyone spotted them, and it was deserted. Closing the door softly he turned back to me. "Give." 

"You son of a bitch." I muttered grasping my gun with my right hand. I wasn't about to reveal myself just yet. I wanted to torture him a little, make him nervous.

"Excuse me?" He said raising an eyebrow at me suspiciously.

"How dare you bring her into this?" I said walking forward.  

He backed up seeing the anger in my eyes. "Listen, a deal is a deal. The little bitch deserved it anyway."

That was it, he called her a bitch. He stepped way over the line. I took my pistol out and aimed it at him. He stuttered backwards.

"Yo yo, listen man." He whimpered nervously.

I kept my gun steady. Why was I doing this? I always hated the criminals, and now I was going to be one? Where did this go wrong? Memories of my childhood fled back to me as I remembered my dad. I shuddered and shook the thought out of my mind.

"Nick, it's me, Chris, your old buddy remember? Put the gun down and we can discuss this. You can keep your money."

"There was never any money, Chris. And I'm not your buddy." I corrected him red with anger. "You enjoyed that night didn't you? Getting me all drunk. You had it all planned, make the deal, you had it all played out. Well guess what? I have all this planned out."

"POLICE! PUT THE GUN DOWN!" A voice yelled in back of me as the door slammed down and a few officers rushed in along side Sara. She held a gun up to Chris in back of me along with the cops. I looked at them quickly and then back to Chris, fiddling with the gun.

"Stokes! Put the gun down!" Brass yelled at me. I didn't know what to do. All I could see was Chris and Sara dieing.

"Nick..please. We got him. Give your gun to me." She said trying to stay calm. I was shaking, really bad. I looked to Sara and then back to Chris. Chris was pale with fear.

"Nick, you listen to me now! Put the gun down!" She said frustrated. When I didn't budge she continued. "Do you want to ruin everything? If you shot this guy, we'll never be together!" She screamed. Those words echoed in my mind. How was I ever going to be with her? She was right, I knew it. If I shot this guy, it was all over. My life, Sara, and my job. I dropped the gun as it shattered to the floor. The police rushed in and grabbed a hold of Chris.

"Mr. O' Donald, you're under arrest for attempted murder." Brass said handcuffing him and dragging him across the room reading his rights. I stared at the wall in front of me rubbing my forehead. I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"It's over." She said shakily looking back to Chris. "Its over." She repeated. I turned to her and put my arms around her back as she rested her head along my shoulder. A few tears fell down my cheek as she grasped my hand tightly, her other arm around my waist. We stood near the door for a while, minutes passed, or maybe even hours. We both watched as Chris looked at us with pleading eyes as he got dragged away in the police car. Was it really over? This time it was. He was gone, out of my life. Forever. That day I pledged never to bet again. Especially if I was drunk and broke. But after all, it was just a normal day in Vegas, only today Sara and I learned a valuable lesson. 'Love can change you, as a person, as a human being. It can become powerful but if you do what's right, happiness and good times will follow. Revenge gets you no where; it only leads to hate and crime.'

The End


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